I admit it. I am gullible, easily manipulated and just a plain old Apple fan boy. Since they came out, I’ve been a Mighty Mouse user, blinded by it’s ergonomics and usual Apple charm. But over all these years it has suffered from one unredeemable problem. It’s pants, crap, shit, bollox. Call it what you like. Any mouse that has a scroll wheel (OK, OK, scroll nipple) which won’t scroll for more than a couple of days without then starting to fail is broken. And yes, when it starts to fail after your two day period of bliss it will fail repeatedly every couple of jesus hair pulling hours.

Yes, I know every BLOODY one of the different ways to get scrolling again. There are whole bloody communities founded on trying to get the things to work for – well, you know – an afternoon would be nice. They’re like the alchemists of old, searching for how to get gold from this lump of god damn useless lead and pissing their lives against the wall in the process. Guess what? I don’t want to spend every couple of hours dousing it with tabasco, rolling it over Indonesian virgins’ thighs or planting it in an organic phase matter transmuter alligned to the lost civilisation of “Are we fucking there yet?”. I want the damn fucking thing to fucking scroll!! In both directions. For more than an hour. Is it so FUCKING HARD!??

So goodbye mighty mouse. I have three wireless mice on this desk. All Logitech. They all work. Repeatedly. My latest is a Logitech V470 which arrived today for my Mac to replace the previous insult on practicality. Go and look at the top reviews on the Amazon page. Who wrote them? Bloody mac users fed up with the bloody shitey mouse. And it’s a damn site cheaper than the Apple crap.

Fix the bloody thing already Apple. It’s shite.